The title is my attempt at irony.
Recovery completely changed the way I think. The way I frame the world. I learned a lot of these things from talking to like minded people.
One of the first things I learned about myself is how much I was concerned with what I was doing wrong. I wanted solutions to problems.
I’ve noticed that there is a common trait of people in recovery and that is to beat themselves up. We are not worthy. Someone told me recently that’s called “stinkin’ thinkin'”. I like that term.
One way we beat ourselves up is to repeat to ourselves what we should be doing. I should exercise more etc etc.
That’s the reason that LifeRing discourages the use of the word should.
In any case change must come from within.
People first and foremost want to be listened to.
Then they want encouragement
They may want practical advice, but that has to be given with a bit of tact.
My experience of LifeRing is that advice is given by positive examples of how small changes can add up into a new way of thinking.
All of our problems don’t disappear when we start recovery. In fact for a while they are smack right in front of us and there is an impatience to fix them.
Being in recovery allows us to cope. To think straight.